Q: How can I best be of service to friends and relatives in the face of negativity?

A: Many of your relations are working through lifetimes of anger and sadness together. They keep choosing it because they have not yet learned the lessons. The only real lessons in life are this:

• Love yourself unconditionally.
• Love each other unconditionally.
• Bring peace and comfort where it does not exist.
• Bring love where there is fear.
• Bring joy where there is sadness.
• Trust yourself to do the right thing, and then act on that trust by doing the right thing. The right thing is always that which is most in integrity with your highest values. In other words, “What would the Master Jesus do?”
• Trust the Universe to support you in doing the right thing. It will bring you all that you need and all that you seek to sustain you in this life once you start living through Divine Love rather than fear.

You see, anytime somebody brings to you words or actions that are anything less than love, it means they have some fear in the mix. As we have told you before, it is a continuum with love on one end and fear on the other. If you are not in a state of absolute love (and all that it includes, such as forgiveness, acceptance, joy) then you are in a partial state of fear. The percentages vary with the situation and your vibratory state. But most of you are never in a state of pure love. Usually you are somewhat in love and somewhat in fear. It might be 50/50. It might be 70/30. You go back and forth all the time. But whatever shows up in your life outside yourself is always a direct match to whatever your love/fear quotient is on the inside.

You are Responsible for Everything in Your Life

You are responsible for EVERYTHING that shows up in your experience. Everything. Everything! So, if you are experiencing somebody bringing you anything less than perfect Divine Love, it is because you are vibrating at a rate of something other than perfect, Divine Love. You may think, “I am here being all loving and peaceful, and that person is being hateful” . . .  or deceitful, or angry, or fearful or whatever it is that you don’t want to be. But they are there showing you that you are not what you aspire to be.

You asked for it, you know? You said, “Show me who I am—who I REALLY am.” You are always saying that to the Universe on an unconscious level. You know it before you embody. You know that your whole purpose for taking a physical body is to grow into perfect Divine Love, and that all experiences you encounter in your lifetime that are anything less than that are there to show you that you are currently less than that. Does it make sense?

Before you embody you are excited about all the opportunities you will have that will remind you of your love quotient. You want it to be 100/1. You are working toward that. And so, you are thrilled that all of these players are going to show up on cue to display behavior that is a vibrational match to your current state. You believe in the non-physical that you will have the strength, conviction, and will to see the gift they are giving you once in the physical, and that you will say, “Aha, I am less than 100/1 right now, I better fix that by WORKING ON MYSELF. I better ask to feel love and allow it in because that is how I tip the balance toward mastery.” But then you come into the physical and you forget. As we have said, that is by design. You forget that your goal is 100/1 and that every person and experience along the way is a signpost to guide you toward it—especially those with whom you have chosen close relationships. They are the billboards. They are the glaring, lit-up signs in Times Square. Think about that famous stock ticker sign in Times Square that rattles off the stock prices second by second every day. Your spouse, children, work associates, etc.—they are the equivalent of that sign for you. Instead of stock prices, they are showing you your love quotient. Someone offers you praise, you may be at 80/20. Someone yells at you, now you may be down to 50/50.

The Importance of Self-Love

What you need to do is pay attention to the sign and internalize it. If you took full responsibility, you would recognize the sign and say, “Ah, I must be fairly imbalanced toward fear at the moment, and I had better shift. I must be vibrating at a lower rate due to some lack of self-love. I better find a way to love myself more.” Why self-love? It is a simple truth that your capacity for love of others is directly proportional to your love of self. You cannot love another more than you love yourself. And you cannot receive love from another in greater proportion to the love you have for yourself. They may offer you tremendous love, but you can only receive that which is proportionate to your level of self-love. You’ve heard that plenty of times—because it is Truth! You can feel compelled toward another and feel dependent on another in a way that is so strong you mistake it for love. But your ability to love and be loved by another will never exceed your love of self. It is physically impossible. That is, it violates the laws of physics. So when things go off the rails in a relationship, it is never the case that you only need to love that person more, or that they need to love you more. And it is never the case that they simply need to change to suit you. You may have much room for expanding your capacity to love them, but it is the love of self that determines what that capacity is. It always comes first.

And so no matter what is going on, it is always about you loving you. This is so hard to get because when you come into the physical body you forget these great Truths. You must relearn them. And all around you is evidence to the contrary. All around you are people demanding that other people behave differently—people blaming other people for “what they did to me.” People seeking retribution for how they have been wronged. People trying to take advantage of other people and to hurt other people. It is understandable to us how you would see all this and think that it is all of those people who must change. But that is the game, you see? The game is to wake up to the fact that it is only ever about loving yourself despite all of the evidence you see in the world that would have you believe it is about others changing. The thing is, once you get this and really start loving yourself WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION THAT ANYBODY ELSE BEHAVE ANY DIFFERENTLY, then you will start to attract different behavior from them.

Choose a Reality of Love

Did you know there are countless variations of every situation taking place at any given time? It is a reality of quantum physics that is the foundation of the physical plane. Say you encounter somebody and say to them, “Good morning!” and they return with “What’s good about it, jerk?!” Wow! That isn’t what you expected! But at the same time there is a version of them responding, “And a very good morning to you! Isn’t it a beautiful day?” And there are billions of other responses all happening at once. Which one are you experiencing? The one that is most in vibrational alignment with you at the moment—which is in direct correlation with how much self-love you have. It is like you are creating the movie of your life frame by frame, and you are in complete creative control of each successive frame based on your self-love quotient in the moment. When you get a response that is less than what you had hoped for, instead of making it about that other person—instead of having a negative response to them because of the negativity they brought to you—stop and ask to feel more love—more self-love—in that moment. This is how you get a more enjoyable and benevolent next frame and next frame and next. You are so used to trying to get that other person to change in the moment, or to revisit it later and tell them about what they need to do—how they need to be different—but you don’t even need to go into all of that. Just work on yourself. Love yourself more and the world around you changes. Again, it is physics. You can count on it as surely as you can count on an object falling to the ground when you drop it. It is law.

Most people will hear this and right away go back to the story they have about the people around them. “You don’t understand. I did nothing wrong to that person. All I said was good morning, and they treated me like crap. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, and I’m going to let them know about it!” No, you don’t deserve it. But you don’t believe that you don’t deserve it. Not really. There is so much negative judgment of self that you carry with you in your Akash, and that is what is running the show most of the time. It is embedded in the template of your physical existence from lifetime after lifetime of negative circumstances in the earth plane. So even if you don’t consciously feel like you have self-love issues, you do. If you didn’t you would not be experiencing the challenges that YOU ASKED FOR to remind you of those issues. “I’m going to have signs at every turn, and it’s going to be awesome!” you said before you embodied. Then you came in, the signs showed up, and you got angry that they are there because you forgot the game and your excitement for growth.

But it’s all very, very simple. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. No matter what. No matter what is going on or who is doing what in your presence. Use it all as a constant reminder to love yourself. Recognize that there is so much you are not in touch with because you have no conscious memory of it. But you don’t need to sort through all of that. Just transmute it with love. Just ask to feel more love in the moment and it will come to you. It may take some time before you trust this. It may take some time before the momentum builds enough that you feel it shifting and those negative experiences start to fall away. But it WILL happen. It must happen because it is physics. It is law. And this is the game you agreed to play. Do it in this lifetime, or wait and do it in the next. But our promise to you is that the minute you leave this body you will want to get right back in and set up the game the same way so that you can learn the lessons that you passed up in this lifetime. You’ll say, “Oh, I missed it. Again.”

So, then, your service to your family is to remind them of this. And their service to each other is to love themselves more and more every day. Nothing more, and nothing less. Simple, right? But is it easy? That’s for each individual to decide.

 

 

Image credits: Alexas Fotos