Q: Please explain the role of sexual expression in the human experience. It is apparently physical, emotional, and spiritual. It can be some or all of the above at once. Why is it such a powerful force? What is going on in the cells and chakras during a sexual encounter? Why all the guilt and shame so many people seem to have around it?

A: People tend to think of sexual expression and the sex drive behind it as a purely physiological thing—an animal instinct that drives them to procreate. Sex is indeed necessary for procreation, and the sex drive plays an important role in humans creating more humans. If you didn’t enjoy it so much, you wouldn’t have as many children. But that is only a small part of what it is about.

Sexual energy is the energy of pure creation. It is the same energy that created the Universe. You can think of the sexual climax—the explosion of pure joy—as a microcosm of the explosion of pure Divine Love that created all that you see in the heavens. In the physical, you get to feel a very small part of it. In the non-physical, you feel it all the time—the flow of pure, Divine creative energy. It’s your remembrance of what that feels like in the non-physical that drives you to crave it so much in the physical. You want to feel your connection with God, and sex is the way that even the lowest-vibration consciousness can get a hint of that connection in the physical. It is like “touching the hem of the garment of the Master”.  Part of you is aware of this on an energetic level even if you do not know it in the conscious mind.

Consciousness is the Key to Divine Sexual Expression

The feeling of loss or letdown that people can experience after the sexual encounter has everything to do with what drives them to seek the sexual encounter in the first place and the consciousness that they bring to it. You seek it because you know on an unconscious level that it is the same creative energy that creates worlds (Haha, perhaps that’s why the old joke, “did the earth move for you, too?”). But the story you tell yourself about it in the conscious mind is often not as clear. The reason you seek union with that creative energy is often based in a lower-vibration consciousness. Sometimes it is to escape pain that you feel—like the pain of loneliness or some trauma you have experienced. Sometimes it is fear-based. Because you associate the act of sexual union with love (“making love”, as you say), if you are prone to feeling unloved or if you do not love yourself enough, you will attach a hope for love to the encounter. Because the physical sensation of sex is wonderful, you feel tremendous pleasure for a while that fills the void of love. You feel loved and loveable in the moment. Sometimes what drives you is to feel validated that you are worthy of love: “Someone desires me!”

There is no judgement from God about any of these motivations, or any amount of sex or abstinence you choose to experience. There is no punishment for your sexual activities. But the consciousness you bring to the experience determines whether it is a brief physical sensation or a lasting expansion into the Heart of God. Because the energy of sex is indeed opening a channel to the Divine creative energy that is all that you are in the non-physical, if you do not approach it with a high consciousness of true love and all of its components—compassion, joy, open-heart sharing, and a deep knowing that you are loved beyond measure by God and that you can have all that you seek in life—then the joy of the moment will be fleeting, and all of the lack of these things will come forth in even starker contrast once the moment is passed.

In this regard, sex can be a form of “poking the dragon.” The dragon is all the combined negative miscreation in your life—the things that you have created out of a fear-based consciousness—the things you want to change or get rid of. The dragon is sleeping a lot of the time because you have reached some level of comfort with the miscreations. They may nag at you on an ongoing basis (e.g. “When will I find my soul mate who will love me for who I am?”) but you have learned how to function in your day-to-day life and experience joy in spite of them. However, you also know how much better you can feel—how much more fulfilled and creative and expansive you can be. You never forget this. So, you may seek an encounter that embodies this feeling. It’s exciting and joyful and makes you feel great. Then the dragon awakens, and you must face it. You realize that the experience of expansive joy and excitement is not where you spend most of your time. Most of the time you are experiencing fear, lack of love, and a longing for constant joy. These feelings come forth much more strongly than if you had not sought the peak experience to begin with because the contrast of the peak experience to the day-to-day doldrums is so great. You felt Divine creative power for a while, and then you “woke up” and realized that you feel unloved or unworthy most of the time. You have escaped your sense of lack for a moment, but you must return to it because you have not yet transmuted the fears that created that feeling back into higher consciousness.

Playing into all of this is the consciousness with which you approach your partner. Everyone is pure Divine energy. Everyone is a manifestation of the Heart of God. And It manifests in many ways, including physical beauty. But when you seek a partner so that you can feel great for a while and your primary criteria is how good they look to you in the physical, you are shutting down the flow of so much potential for a higher manifestation of light via the experience—a lasting experience of light—a transformative experience that actually expands your consciousness. You have a feeling afterwards of somehow having sold yourself and your partner short. You say, “We were just using each other,” and that is accurate. You used each other to touch the hem of the garment. Again, no judgement in that, but you have missed so much of what is possible because your intent was to feel good for a while. You got what you wanted, but a part of you knows that this will never be enough, and that’s why you heap shame on yourself. What you are feeling is, “Darn, I missed it again—touched the hem of His garment but did not embrace the Master.” What you really seek is permanent connection with God—connection that leads you ever deeper.

This is also why you can become bored with sex. It becomes rote because you know how it feels and that it will never be enough. You are always looking for that peak experience. Once sex becomes predictable, it loses its ability to give you the charge you once felt. It becomes predictable because you are not pushing yourself to bring an ever-expanding consciousness to the act. Thus, the energy of it is not expansive enough for you.

The Components of High-Consciousness Sex

For you to continue to feel the excitement around sex, and to feel the lasting joy that it can bring, you must approach it from a higher consciousness. This has several components:

1. Love yourself first. If you are not in absolute Divine Love with yourself, you can never give yourself fully to another and fully receive them in a way that will bring about lasting joy through the experience. You must know that you are a perfect manifestation of Divine Love, see that in the other, and seek to reflect it back to them. The love that you seek is you, and the love that they seek is them. Neither can give it to the other, but you can reflect it to each other and amplify each other’s vibration in pure Divine Love.
2. Seek a partner with whom you have a true heart connection. Again, no judgement from God if you are just out to feel physically good for a while with someone you find attractive. But go into it with your eyes wide open, knowing that the experience will likely be fleeting. Better that you can connect with someone who also seeks expansion and a lasting connection with the God inside them. Note that this is very difficult to do if you do not yet love yourself because your motivations will most likely be fear-driven (fear of not being loved and loveable—which is another way to say you feel unworthy).
3. Trust your intuition about the experience you seek. Your media presents you with many scenarios about sex all the time—ideas about how it should be. Your peers will give you many more points of view based on their experience. Your parents, teachers, religious leaders, and even your politicians will also give you plenty of “guidance” about what is and is not acceptable, and how it should be done. Most of that they were taught by somebody else, and most of it is fear-based. But you know at a soul level what is right for you and who is right for you. If you trust this guidance, you will have sexual experiences that are more expansive than any of those who bombard you with advice based on low-consciousness thinking can even conceive of. Trust yourself to know what is right for you and who is right for you. If you have confusion around it, be still and ask to feel love in the moment. The vibration of Divine Love will always guide you to the correct choice.
4. Make sex a gift—to yourself, your partner, and the world. Think about it—if you are tapping into the energy that creates Universes, doesn’t it make sense that anchoring more of that energy into the earth can have tremendously transformative power in the world? When you experience the flow and release of that energy, you know how great it feels, and you think it is just something for you and your partner. But it is actually a way that God brings forth more creative, healing energy into the world for the benefit of others. You are a channel for bringing that energy into the earth plane. The transformative power of that creative energy is either amplified or limited by the consciousness you bring to the experience. It’s like God is flowing the most beautiful music you have ever heard through you to the world, and you either blast it at full volume or make it barely audible based on all the thoughts, feelings, and intention you bring to sex. Fear, guilt, and shame all turn the volume way down. When you are choosing a sexual experience for escape or to feel loved, usually its going to be low-volume. But if you love yourself; know that you are the Divine spark of God in the physical; know that your partner is as well; you both share this consciousness; you both approach the act with an open heart to the other; and you set the intent to bring forth more of God’s transformative, healing, creative power into the world, be ready for some real fireworks!

The Cellular Connection

You asked what is going on in the cells and chakras during sex. All of what we described above—all of the feelings and thoughts you have around sex—create an imprint on the cells. The cells have memory—cellular memory. They remember how great sex feels and the connection with the Divine, which is the primary reason you keep going back to it so strongly. When you say to someone, “I want you with all my being,” you aren’t so far from the truth. When the desire to feel the Divine connection via sexual energy arises, you literally feel it in every cell of your body. You project the feeling onto the person that you feel attracted to because you know they have the potential to help you feel that wonderful connection. But it isn’t about them—it’s about your cells craving the connection with Divine creative energy. That’s why many people move from partner to partner—each time feeling that strong desire with “all of my being”. They really can and do feel the desire without that person, but the potential partner is a focal point that has the ability to co-create the manifestation of the Divine creative energy in the physical. You call it passion and animal magnetism and such. It is really the craving for connection with pure, Divine creative energy projected onto a focal point. And if they see you as a potential co-creator of that in their own life, then you have tremendous attraction. Your cells are shouting, “Oh goody! We get to feel God!”

And by the same token, the cells also remember the feelings of guilt, shame, and let down you can experience when the heart connection is not actually present. They remember that there is so much more possible in the experience of receiving the God energy, and so they experience the letdown that comes after the joyful experience dissipates. This is what drives you to seek a higher experience. It leads you to ask, “What am I missing? What else is possible? How can I make a higher choice next time?”

The flow of the creative energy to the cells comes via the chakras. And just as with healing—accessing the template of perfect health that exists in the field—only a certain amount of energy can get through based on the consciousness you bring to the experience. The energy flows into the physical experience via the chakras, and the consciousness you bring determines the chakra through which it will flow. If you seek only the experience of the wonderful physical sensation of sex, that’s all that can get through, via your lower chakras. It may feel great, but it is a very small glimpse of what is possible when you begin to channel this tremendous creative energy via the higher chakras, which you activate via your higher thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

Make your sexual experiences about opening your heart and the heart of your partner. Make them about anchoring more light and love into the world, not just for you but for the benefit of all humanity. Make it about bringing forth into the world the transformative power that creates Universes. Do all this and see how you will attract sexual partners and experiences that will surpass any expectations you had before about what sex can or should be. It can be so much more than just feeling good for a while. It can be a life-changing experience that becomes an integral part of your soul’s growth and your ability to manifest your desires in the physical—free of any low-vibration emotions (fear, guilt, shame).

How will you know when you are achieving this? You’ll know because you’ll feel it both in the physical and in the Spiritual body. You will feel that you are bringing heaven down to earth via your physical vessel. You will experience sensations in your body you never have before, and you will know the sacred space from which they come. Put it to the test.

 

 

Image credit: Bob Williams