We wish to speak about one of the more toxic elements of modern life on earth: Self-judgment.
Let us begin with a statement: “You are whole and perfect just as you are in this moment. You are enough.” How does that sit with you? Does it feel like truth?
Much of humanity instantly experiences resistance upon hearing or reading these words. While you long for them to be true, they immediately send the mind racing toward all you have not yet achieved or all that you think you have done wrong. Every single human on the planet has been told by someone at some point that you are in some way flawed or incomplete. Each and every one of you. Many receive this message multiple times every day. For some, it is a never-ending flow.
It’s easy to see why. You live in an age in which much of humanity enjoys a degree of personal choice unknown in previous generations. What you study, what you do for work, how you nourish your body, how you are entertained, where you live, how you worship—more people enjoy more choice in how they create these and other life experiences than at any other time in the earth’s history. Not everyone, mind you, but many more than in previous times.
This is ultimately a desirable thing, for life on earth is meant to be a co-creative experience full of options and opportunities. But with this greatly expanded set of options comes an almost infinite variety of messages from others telling you what you should choose. Their typical motives are financial gain and personal validation for their own choices. This is not to say that their motives are necessarily malicious. It’s more that everyone is doing what they were told to do. There’s a general consensus about how the material world works and what a desirable life looks like within it.
At the same time, most of humanity is starting to awaken to the understanding that the true purpose of life on earth has little to do with what or where you study; where or how you work; what you eat; how you are entertained; where you live; or who, where, and how you worship. We call such things the business of living, which is very different from the purpose of living.
You are Limitless
Every person on the planet has one goal prior to incarnating: To fully embody the knowing that you are limitless and eternally one with All That Is. Stated another way, you are here to realize that you are powerful co-creators with the limitless creative energy of Divine Love within you and all around you.
How do you feel when you hear or read those words? Let’s say them again. This time, receive them slowly and be very aware of both your feelings and your thoughts as you do: “I am limitless. I am a powerful co-creator with the unlimited creative energy of Divine Love within me and all around me.”
Most people experience a mix of excitement and resistance to these words. The excitement comes from the part of you that intuitively knows it is true. The resistance comes from the part of you that has been programmed throughout your life to believe otherwise. And that’s where self-judgment comes in.
The Origins of Self-Judgment
Suppose you kept track of all the messages that parents, teachers, peers, ministers, celebrities and the media have given you throughout your life about who you are, what is possible for you, and what you should desire. And suppose you listed those messages under the headings “limited” and “limitless” according to the perspective they offered you. Which list do you think would be the longer of the two? We say with certainty that the “limited” list would be far longer than the “limitless” list.
Typically, the messages you receive are along the lines of, “If you buy, do, or achieve this particular thing, then you will be more complete.” Ironically, they often contribute to you feeling less complete. Why? Because few have embodied the understanding that you are already complete. And those that have are most often misunderstood or ignored. For example, how many do you know who truly believe and demonstrate Jesus’ statement, “All I have done you will also do, and even greater works will you do.” Few have been willing to accept this truth.
Happily, that is starting to change as more of humanity awakens to your True Nature. On the whole, children being born today will have many more messages in their “limitless” column by the time they reach adulthood than previous generations did. Divine Spirit is overjoyed by this.
In the meantime, those of you who have spent decades steeped in the belief that you are somehow not enough have work to do—or, rather, undo. You must undo the work of others who have convinced you that you are flawed—that you are somehow not enough.
How to Recognize Self-Judgment
The first step is to recognize how often you judge yourself against someone else’s standards. Here are some examples of common self-judgment. Fill in the blanks with whatever resonates most in your own experience.
- Body type: “I am too _____________ (fat, skinny, short, tall, plain, ugly, beautiful, hairy, dark, light . . .).”
- Age: “I am too ____________ (old, young . . .) to do XYZ.”
- Capabilities: “I am not (smart, educated, talented . . .) enough to accomplish XYZ.”
- Resources: “I’ll never have enough (time, money, relationships, skills . . .) to achieve what I want in life.” Or “It’s too late for me.”
- Worthiness: “I don’t deserve to have what I want. Not after what I’ve done.” Or “I wasn’t born into the right circumstances to get what I want. It’s just not my lot in life.”
- Expectations and judgments of others: “I can’t do XYZ because everyone will think I’m crazy.” Or “I can’t do that because it’s an offense to God.”
- Past experience (self or others): “I tried that once and failed, so I learned my lesson.” Or “My (father, mother, friend, sibling, idol . . .) tried that and failed, so why should I expect to do any better?”
Does any of this sound familiar? Most people judge themselves (i.e., limit themselves) multiple times a day without even being aware of it. That’s a function of the countless messages you receive daily that tell you what you should believe, what you should own, how you should act, how you should look, who you should follow, how to have the most fun, how much money you should earn, what makes for a successful life, and so on. Most often, these messages suggest you need to change something about yourself or your life to experience greater happiness.
Do you believe it? Has it worked for you? Think about a time when you invested energy, time, or money in something outside of yourself that you believed would bring you lasting happiness, whether an object, an experience, a belief system, or another person. Did you achieve lasting happiness in the having of it? Usually, there is a temporary experience of joy that comes with fulfilling a desire, but has it ever brought you lasting happiness? Or did you find yourself sometime later feeling the same sense of lack that drove you to seek fulfillment in the first place?
Friends, we are by no means the first to say that true happiness is only found within. You have heard it before. And it is the truth. But few are the ones who embody this truth. Few are the ones who no longer think and feel “I’m not enough” from time to time when they encounter external messages.
Awakening to Who You Truly Are
So, how do you get to that place of absolute knowing that you are whole and perfect just as you are? It comes with awakening to the TRUTH of who you really are—an unlimited, multi-dimensional, non-physical, energetic being experiencing the limited perspective of a three-dimensional physical body.
From the non-physical, multi-dimensional perspective, you are limitless. From the perspective of the human mind, you are limited—bound by the laws of physics that govern the earth plane, and subject to the multitude of perspectives offered by others who are trying to validate their own existence. In other words, by others who are trying to demonstrate that they are living life “correctly” and “successfully”.
This is true even of many who are intentionally living life from a more Spiritual point of view. Seekers of higher truth and deeper connection with Spirit are often concerned with doing it “right”. Many experience fear of what they consider to be negative outside influences. Or they judge themselves harshly when they fail to meet their own standards, or the standards set by the Spiritual teacher or community. Well-intentioned seeking can easily add another layer of feeling like you are not enough.
How do you break through that? First, recognize that any time you are experiencing self-judgment, you are drawing further away from the connection with Spirit that you seek. It doesn’t matter what you think you did or didn’t do correctly, or what you feel you have yet failed to achieve. No matter the circumstance, the instant you feel anything other than, “I am whole and perfect just as I am in this moment,” you are choosing greater separation from your Source—All That Is.
Second, practice noticing when you experience self-judgment. Begin by taking 10 minutes each day to be aware of your thoughts and write down the ones that are self-judging. Don’t try to think or not think about anything in particular. Just allow the thoughts to flow and note when self-judgment arises. You’ll recognize it because it triggers feelings of lack, failure, regret, and shame—all symptoms of the larger feeling that you are somehow not enough.
Once self-judgment is recognized, avoid the temptation to heap more negative feelings on top of it, compounding its limiting effects. Just be the neutral observer of your thoughts and feelings. Rather than, “Ugh, I judged myself again. I seem to do it a lot!” make it, “Ah, I observe that I have just judged myself. Or “OK, I am experiencing self-judgment again.” Observe it the same neutral way you would observe anything in your world that you don’t have a particular point of view about. For example, “There goes a bird flying by. There goes another. And another.” Do you see the difference?
Choose What Influences You
You must allow self-judgment to exist in order to dissolve it. This is a paradox. But recall from our previous messages that Spirit does not judge anything in creation. Only humanity does that when operating from the limited perspective of the physical mind. Spirit has endowed humanity with free choice to create the world however you wish. To then judge humanity’s creation would be dysfunctional—a quality that Spirit does not possess. Spirit knows that any point of view that excludes any other point of view draws one further away from Itself. Spirit never divides—It only unifies.
We understand how challenging this practice can be in a world that constantly broadcasts messages of fear and material aspiration. The people you call “influencers” are exactly that. But they will not stop broadcasting their own preferences, judgments, or agendas. You have little control over what is being broadcast. But you do have control over what you receive and internalize. You have absolute control over whether you allow others’ judgments and agendas to influence you. And the way to start gaining more control over what you allow is to be aware of it.
Shine a light on limiting messages by neutrally observing them. In a short time, you will find yourself becoming aware of self-judgment throughout your day. You will be driving in your car and see a billboard that triggers that feeling of “I’m not enough.” Or you will experience it while watching television (you’ll notice it a lot on television), or when you read what somebody posts on social media. So, use it all and note how it makes you feel about yourself. You might even keep a small notebook handy, or a note in your phone, with two columns titled “limitless” and “limited”. Note how each message makes you feel, and put a mark in the appropriate column. Stay neutral about it, like observing birds flying by. The more you do this, the more you will notice when you judge yourself and what the biggest triggers are.
Only from this place of awareness do you have the ability to choose differently. Once you achieve that awareness, what will you choose? We suggest this simple affirmation: “I am whole and perfect just as I am in this moment. I am enough.” Feel the truth of it as you say it silently or out loud. Feel it in your heart center and in every cell of your body. That’s all that is needed to move you from a low vibration of self-judgment to a high vibration of Divine Love.
In a short while, you will truly come to believe the truth of how powerful you really are. When you do, you will find yourself much more aware of all the programming that would have you believe you are somehow limited. You will recognize it for what it is—a false story created from the limited perspective of others who do not realize their own Divine magnificence—and you will begin to seek higher vibration sources of information. You will find yourself naturally drawing to you people and messages that affirm the truth of who you are—that you are indeed limitless. That you are a powerful co-creator with the unlimited creative energy of Divine Love within you and all around you. And that’s when your life story starts to get REALLY good.
Put it to the test. We guarantee you will love the results. And here’s a bonus: Whenever you judge that you have done something “wrong”, especially something you believe is offensive to God, rather than beating yourself up for it, try loving yourself instead. Say with feeling, “I love me.” This is Divine alchemy that immediately dissolves the negative charge you are feeling and puts you in greater alignment with your Divine Nature—your limitlessness. Why? Because God really does love you no matter what, and He/She/It does not judge a single one of your choices. Any judgment you assign to God is all within yourself. Believe it, and put it to the test!
We wish you blessings on your journey.
Image credit: blende12