Q: At this festive time of year when many people all over the world exchange gifts, what is the highest form of giving?

A: It has often been said, “It is in giving that you receive.” Most people have some idea of what that means because you have experienced the joy of watching somebody receive a physical gift from you, or a nonphysical gift in the form of a compliment or benevolent wish. It feels good to see somebody you love light up when they are the recipient of your attention and generosity. In this way, your giving also enlightens you, and your good feelings benefit everyone.

At this time of year, it is also easy to give for reasons that are less enlightening. A feeling of obligation or a sense of duty can permeate your holiday giving. You may give because you think it’s expected, or simply because it’s what is done. You may also give because you fear you will appear ungenerous if you don’t give. This type of giving is not productive in that it does little to amplify light on the planet. It may not necessarily add to darkness, it just doesn’t add to the light.

The Energy of Giving

As you know, all matter is energy. All thought, feeling, and intention are also energy. Therefore, anything you give to another is energy, whether you give an object, money, a shared experience, a compliment or a benevolent thought. From our perspective, they are all equal if they are offered with an open-heart desire to bring the receiver a greater feeling of joy, peace or comfort. In other words, it’s not about the gift itself; it’s about the feeling and intent—the energy—with which the gift is given.

Much has been said about how the holiday time of year has become very focused on material goods. Those who criticize the emphasis on the gifting of material things say it does little to benefit humanity and only contributes to the profits of the companies that sell the goods. They say it takes focus away from the“true meaning” of the holidays. If you are a Christian, that might mean it shifts the focus away from the celebration of the birth of Jesus. And even those who are not Christian or religious will say that the commercial aspects of the holiday season negate the benevolent spirit of giving. There is a degree of truth in that sentiment, but not because there is a single true meaning for your holiday celebrations. You see, it does not have to come down to a choice between material or spiritual. There is a middle way. Again, it has to do with the feeling and intent with which you give.

While many gifts are given in love, many acts of giving also contain an element of fear. Gifts are purchased with intention such as, “I have to get John something because he always gets me something.” Or, “I have to get Ellen something because her feelings will be hurt if I don’t.” Or, “I’m going to get presents for all my friends this year because it will show how generous I am.” Or, “I want to get this gift for David because he will really appreciate it, but I worry that I can’t afford it.” These kinds of intentions contain an element of fear. Usually it’s the fear that you or somebody else will be disappointed if you don’t do it. Often, you fear the other will judge you negatively. Related to this is a feeling of self-judgement. For example, you may judge yourself to be ungenerous or ungracious if you don’t purchase the gift. Such feelings of fear and self-judgement are never a good reason to give anything to anybody. The benevolent spirit of giving lies in the intention of your heart, regardless of whether an object is involved or not. The object itself is not inherently good or bad—it’s always neutral. The absence or inclusion of the object is also neutral. It is your intent that gives it meaning.

Giving with Heart-based Intention

Think about a gift you’re considering purchasing for somebody. No matter what the gift is, it has been sitting on a shelf in a store, or in a warehouse, waiting for you to choose it. The object is completely energetically neutral, as far as you are concerned, until you choose to purchase it. At that point you infuse it with your own intentions. In that moment of choice, we encourage you to stop and become aware of your feelings. Feel whether you are about to act from a vibration of fear or one of love. As we have said before, fear and love lie at opposite ends of a continuum. All feelings of judgment, shame or resentment—whether directed toward another or yourself—vibrate at a frequency that is more aligned with fear. All feelings of joy, compassion, and forgiveness—whether directed toward another or yourself—vibrate at a frequency of love. Which are you feeling in the moment? The answer will tell you whether your gift contributes to the amplification of light or not. Pay close attention because these feelings can be subtle.

If your feelings tell you that your gift is being given of true love, absent of all fear, then we encourage you to proceed with your gifting. It doesn’t matter what the object is or what it costs so long as the act of giving resonates with love of self and other. However, if your feelings tell you that you are about to act from a place of fear in any form, we encourage you to pause and consider what act of giving would resonate more with love. Is it a different object? Or is it simply writing a message to someone to tell them how appreciative you are of their presence in your life? Is it inviting them to spend some time together to share joy and laughter? Or is it simply offering them a silent blessing across the miles?

All these things, when offered in the spirit of love, bring more light into the world. And from our point of view, bringing more light into the world is what your holiday celebrations are truly all about. You can focus them on the birth of your prophet, the passing of the seasons, the shining of physical light into the darkest time of year or even just the delight of friendship. You can choose to celebrate these things with the exchange of material objects or the exchange of words and intentions. It’s all the same, and one is not better or worse than another from our point of view. What matters most are your own intentions and the frequency with which those intentions resonate.

So, we encourage you to pay attention to your feelings in this time of giving. They reveal your intentions, and they will always guide you to the perfect gift for another, material or otherwise. And when your giving resonates with the Divine Love that is in your heart, that which is free of fear in any form, it is a gift to the world.

We wish you all blessings of tremendous love and peace. May you amplify these blessings to all with whom you share your joyous celebrations.

 

 

Image credit: Afishera